Many years ago, to my mothers and my family’s dismay, my dad made an announcement that changed our lives forever. I will always remember that fateful morning when both my parents called me downstairs for a talk. I slowly scattered down the stairs thinking I was probably going to get hell because I had omitted to do my chores…again. My dad was not an easy dad. He was pretty hard on me and always had his way of making me feel like shit when I did something wrong. He was the macho type who whistled at girls on the street and always played tough. Never in a million years could I have prepared for what was coming next.
When I saw my mother’s face I could see she had been crying. I felt confused. Was I in trouble or was she? I looked over at my dad who was not his usual stubborn and strong self. He seemed exhausted, angry and sad. I had never seen my parents like this. Suddenly I felt sick. My scrambled eggs made their way right back from where they came from as I tried hard to swallow them down again. Had someone died? Why where they just staring at me without saying a word? I sat down and we all just sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally my dad spoke up. His voice was trembling and he wasn’t his usual secure capable self. As the first words came out of his mouth my ears started humming louder. I did not want to hear what was coming. I knew something was off, I could feel it all the way down to my toes. It wasn’t like them. My mom could hardly look at my dad and kept staring at her hands. I felt sick. I knew my world was about to change but I didn’t know how. I felt like a kid again and all I wanted to do was cover my ears and yell “la la la la la Ia I can’t hear you” just like a child would do. I wasn’t a child anymore and I knew that I couldn’t so I just sat there staring at my dad who wasn’t making any sense at all. For the first time in my life I saw my ultra-macho dad in a whole new light. My dad, the strongest and most macho man I ever knew was now standing before me looking insecure and scared. My mom, the usually smiling light of my life just sat there lifeless only sometimes looking in my direction through her wet eyes.
Then he dropped the bomb. “Dad is leaving. Your mom and I are getting a divorce” ok, it wouldn’t be easy but I could deal with that, all my friends had divorced parents “oh and I’m gay. Do you know what that means?” You have got to be fucking kidding me I thought. This has got to be a joke. There is no way in hell my ultra-macho dad is gay. It has to be a mistake. “Do you know what it means?” I asked him. “Of course I know, and I know it’s going to be hard to deal with at first but we will get through this.”
WTF was happening? I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I felt at a loss for words. Was he joking, could he be? My mother was crying now and I felt for her. 23 years of marriage to a gay man. Wow, how amazingly awful she must feel. I looked at my dad and could see he was completely serious and looked on the verge of exploding. This was no laughing matter. Those scrambled eggs again, there they were, threatening to jump up at me and throw themselves at my feet. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I felt lost. I did not know how to handle the situation. I wanted to crawl into a little hole and curl up until someone told me it was all just a horrible dream. Unfortunately it wasn’t. I pinched myself and the searing pain showed me it was all real, too real. I just sat there, lifeless, motionless. My dad looking at me, expecting something and I gave him nothing. I was angry, sad, confused.
Now many years later I understand and have had more than just a chat with my now fully gay dad. He’s happier than he’s ever been and my mom who I always thought was satisfied with life is now a radiant confident woman since she has met a man that satisfies all her needs and desires. I now have parents that are happier than ever and who have grown to be great friends. They have had a good life together but have since then moved on to bigger better things. I’m happy for them and most of all I’m happy for me. There are so many cool reasons of finding out your ultra-macho dad is gay I can’t start to enumerate them all. Here are simply a few of these reasons why I love that my dad is gay.
- Now, if he calls me a faggot I can answer “ No you are”
2. I get extra gifts on my birthday, holidays and just anytime they feel like it.
3. I get 2 new awesome dads
4. No one cares that he’s gay because he’s a wrestler and can kick all off my friend’s dad’s asses.
5. Family parties are now so much gayer, better food better décor better everything.
6. I am finally be well dressed and have learnt good manners
7. I don’t have to look forward to a future sex talk with dad unless I suddenly become gay
8. I finally understood the movie Brokeback mountain
9. I have a perfectly ripped dad with great taste in just about everything.
10. My dad does not and will never flirt with any of my girlfriends.
As you can see, having a gay dad is not at all as bad as I had imagined it. I now have a perfectly happy family and two new amazing dads who will do anything to be loved by me (which I do but don’t tell them, it will just ruin things for me! I like the extra attention) A happy family is more important than a straight dad. You can’t put a price on that and I’d rather see both my parents smile with love when looking at their partners than simply sharing a stable and unhappy life. Love comes in many shapes, sizes and is sometimes where you least expect it, but once you’ve found it, whatever the consequences, you can’t turn away from it. It’s love after all even if it’s gay.